Friday, September 12, 2008

My Soul

I’m coming out of a transition period. You can recognize a spiritual rise to a new level by the subtle or not so subtle feelings of unrest. It is said that this is the time when your guides are re-arranging your furniture.

What I have been working on lately spiritually is “Soul Work,” getting to know my soul, trying to display the unconditional love our soul possesses, and accepting the paths that was contracted by my soul when it chose my body vessel.

A extraordinary book, “Soul Love by Sanaya Roman” is loaded with beautiful prose, and exercises to get in touch with your soul, to merge with your soul and access that information. You might wonder about the merging statement, because you think that you are your soul. We have our bodies and we have our souls, two different things. Our souls hold the key to our life paths and the lessons that we are to learn.

During a visualization technique I was able to see a temple and there were forms coming into the temple. The forms were dark and this distressed me at first, as I was expecting to see golden light surrounding souls. The next night as I went into meditation, I specifically asked my soul about the dark forms. I was given that these souls were returning from their lives on earth. Living a life on earth is hard, it expends the soul energy. The return home requires a regeneration process in the temple after reuniting with others in their soul group. I found this fascinating.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

My Wake Up Call



I have scoured the internet looking for others that had a NDE (near death experience) that resembled mine and couldn’t find one. I didn’t see a tunnel with a light at the end, I didn’t have family with outstretched arms, and I was immediately in a meeting.

One year, our family was overrun with tragedy. It seemed as if every other month there was someone that would fall ill and pass on. My father had lost his wife, mother in law, sister, brother, in addition I had lost two uncles and a nephew on my husband’s side. It was an incredible year of emotion and questioning.

My psychic gifts had presented itself from a small child, but during my early 40’s, I had consciously decided to push that information into the background and live my life differently. Little did I know that I was not being true to my destiny I was shown in a big way.

How That Frightened Me!


Shortly after I had decided that I would take an alternative road, I had gone on a religious retreat. We would be in prayer with “prayer warriors” every day, multiple times, and on this last day, I would be holding hands in a prayer circle with the warrior. After the “Amen”, she turned to me and said, “You are a healer.” I was so perplexed at that point, however it was explained to me that my hands were so very hot, and that showed her that I was to be a healer. Oh, I can not tell you how that frightened me, as I look back on this day; I chuckle because I wasn’t concerned if this meant I would be called to do the seemingly impossible. I was worried about having to pray out loud. Oh my goodness, what a little thing to worry. Consequently this statement was pushed from my mind as I stubbornly looked the other way. That was the beginning of our losses.

Fast forward, my family and I had made it through the losses and now I was to go through a minor outpatient procedure to lesson back pain. During this procedure I was given an epidural, which was to infuse steroids into my spinal canal. The pain was great, as the person doing the procedure must have inserted it too close to a nerve. That was the last thing that I remembered.
In Between Life and Death


I was in a meeting. The table was round and appeared to be dark like wood. The walls were dark as well and there were people around me. I can not describe the people, but my impression was that one person was formed as a male for my earthly benefit. I do know that the people in that room was not happy with me and I had to go back.

I awoke to a flurry; the attendants exclaimed that it took two shots to get my heart rate up from a rate of 25 and dropping. All I said was, “I was in a meeting.” It sounded like a group sing song, because different voices were chiming in with questions on what kind of meeting this was.
My Guides Intervened


This is when my guides began to intervene into my life and steering me back to my roots. I had many lessons to learn. Number one was to make peace with my clairvoyance and empathic nature for my job was to heal through words. I was shown that as a child, not understanding that my secret could be used to help others, I wanted to be a psychologist as I was fascinated by the emotions of others. I wanted to be inside their heads to help them see another way. I understand that need now. Another karmic lesson that I was to be working on was to be stronger, resisting control and regaining my freedom. I was holding on to my previous life as a nun. That life consisted of denying my needs and being a martyr. My early years of my marriage were exactly that, giving all of myself to the extent that I lost myself. I wasn’t taking chances, I had lost my spontaneity and that was the mirror image of my previous life, thus I wasn’t advancing as a soul. I was to help others and regain myself in the process.

So, here I am.